How To Decide What To Keep When Decluttering
We all struggle with giving up possessions. I think it’s tied to fear of letting go of the past, or perhaps fear of being wasteful.
I struggled a few years back to let go of a collection of magnets I had picked whenever I traveled somewhere since I was a teen. I was afraid those memories would be lost forever and I felt guilty that I was somehow negating those trips if I got rid of the memento I’d purchased. In reality, those magnets had been sitting in a box in my closet for years, never being looked at, yet still being dragged around with me everywhere I moved. So when I decided I could let them go, I also decided to dig out my favourite photos from all of those trips and put them into a digital photo album that I now play on my TV as a screensaver. I see those photos all the time and feel joy talking about them to people who come over to visit and see them too. In reality, those trips have come back to life now that I let go of the magnets.
That fear can come into play with things passed down from family as well. Often it’s items that you don’t like or use, but feel obligated to keep because, if you let them go, it feels like you’re letting that family member go. It’s not true! Memories and people are not embodied in things. They’re in us. If you’re worried about forgetting people you’ve lost, you can find non-physical triggers to keep those memories alive. “Stuff” is simply that. It’s not the memory or the person or period of time it’s attached to.
Sometimes the fear we hang onto is actually just a way to avoid change. Moving on to what’s next for us - even if that’s simply a clutter-free home that allows us to live happier day-in and day-out - is a natural progression we should embrace.
Letting things go is also not a waste. Most of the time, the stuff we’re not using could be very useful to someone else, and therefore - it’s not wasted. Yes, you may have spent your money on it and think “well, I bought it so I better keep it in case I need it one day.” But maybe a better way to think about it is that you have it so you can give it to someone who might need it today?
I like to think that some smart kid whose family doesn’t have the means to travel has found my magnet of the Grand Canyon in a thrift store and it now hangs in her bedroom inspiring her to dream big and travel on her own one day. Letting go of the fear of being wasteful is easier to get over when we stop thinking about waste as only revolving around ourselves.
So here’s what I propose:
When you start to declutter, decide what to KEEP instead of what to let go.
Keeping the things that are most precious to you and that bring you joy or comfort regularly are much easier to identify when you’re staring down a house full of clutter. I’m sure if you stand in front of a space in your home right now that’s full of clutter, you could easily pick out your top 3 things that you’d want to keep if you could keep only 3.
When I decided I wanted to keep my memories of my trips through my photos, it became very clear that I could easily let go of the magnets.
Keeping things that are essential to your best life - things that are functional, beautiful - that make your life easier and more enjoyable - they add to your overall wellbeing. Having clutter around you that’s not meaningful or helpful can actually be harming you mentally and emotionally. It makes it hard to concentrate, to get calm and find peace.
When you identify the essential things you want around you that make life better - it becomes instantly more clear what things you are ok with letting go. And when we let go of everything except the essentials, it’s extremely refreshing and energizing!
Try it this weekend. Look at the things in your home you want to keep because they’re essential. Note them. And then notice anything you didn’t put on that list as you go about your life over the next few weeks. If there are non-essentials getting in the way (either physically or mentally), I bet you’ll have an easier time letting it go.
